Aches Pains and Sores Personal
Coughs and Colds  
Internal Complaints  
Skin Disorders  

Keep an apple in the cake box
To prevent cakes going dry
But discard it when it's withered
And another one supply.

Lamb chops if dipped in lemon juice
Before they're to be fried
Are really so delicious
You'll want them multiplied.

Take 1oz of the seeds of Resolution properly mixed with
the oil of Good
Conscience, infuse into it a large spoonful of the Balsam
of Patience.
Distil carefully a composing plant called 'Others Woes',
which you will
find in every part of the Garden of Life.
Gather a handful of the blossoms of Hope, sweeten them
with a syrup made
of the Balm of Providence and if you can get any seeds of
Friendship, you will have a valuable medicine, but be
careful not to add
a weed called 'Self Interest' which will spoil the
composition. These
ingredients well mixed and faithfully taken, will complete
the cure.
(Anon. 1900)